Timeless Spirituality
Timeless Spirituality, hosted by Daniel "The Past Life Regressionist," is a captivating podcast that explores the depths of spirituality and its connection to time. Join Daniel and his guests as they delve into past life regression, astrology, and the timeless essence of existence. With occasional humorous moments, this podcast offers profound insights, making it a unique blend of enlightening entertainment. Tune in to connect with your inner self and uncover the totality of who you are and who you've been throughout time.
IG:@thepastliferegressionist
Website: thepastliferegressionist.com
Timeless Spirituality
Ep. 96 - The Catalyst: For Celeste (ft. Krystal Buttner)
Grief is a universal yet deeply personal experience, as Krystal Buttner's story illustrates. She shares her journey of losing her sister Celeste and finding solace in spiritual practices. Krystal's openness about her grief highlights the importance of sharing such experiences to make them less isolating. Her story reminds us of the enduring bonds with loved ones beyond their physical presence, offering comfort and eternal life.
Krystal also explores her past life regression, recounting vivid memories that emphasize self-compassion and growth through struggle. Whether navigating grief, celebrating joy, or uncovering past life connections, her journey shows how our experiences shape us profoundly.
@krystvl
@brownsugarbotanica
@brownsugarcuts
Brownsugarbotanica.com
Crystal, thank you so much for being here today. How are you doing?
Speaker 2:Thanks for having me. I am great, just living the dream, living the dream.
Speaker 1:It's a good dream, huh.
Speaker 2:It is, it's beautiful.
Speaker 1:So you ready for the first question.
Speaker 2:I'm ready.
Speaker 1:All right. What is your favorite song about time and why?
Speaker 2:What is your favorite song about time and why? Okay, so I hope you play this in the background, by the way, like whenever you put this together, but it is Borderline by Tame Impala. And just to give you a little insight on what that's about, the chorus really is what strikes me with this song, and it starts by saying and we're on the borderline, caught between the tides of pain and rapture. Then I saw the time, watched it speeding by like a train. So that just makes me think about our time on earth. This thing. Time is like. It's not the same everywhere we go. We have like time zones and when you're a kid you think 10 minutes is the longest thing.
Speaker 2:And then you grow up and you're like how did this year? How is it already March? How did this year already go by? It's such a confusing and interesting thing that I feel like we've just totally made up. And in this 3D life here on earth it gets really confusing and our life here is lots of pain but also rapture.
Speaker 2:And so that song for me because Madal, what's the word? Melody? The word melody, but like the way that the melody is in the song, feels like a total different energy than what the lyrics actually are, and so that contrast is so relatable to our 3D life here on Earth, because it all depends on how you look at it. If you're listening to the lyrics, you're like, wow, this is like, this is fucked up, but if you're, you know, listening to the melody, you're like this is so beautiful and that's kind of like our time here on earth. Depending on what you're focusing on, it could be so sad and painful, or it can be beautiful, and you can find both of those things in you know one another. So, yeah, borderline by tame and paula.
Speaker 1:It's a jam, it's a vibe so I've been playing this time game on the podcast now where I guess the year of the song. Okay, I've never heard the song so I have no idea when it's released, although I want to give a shout out to my friend, kelsey. She's an astrologer. She really loves Tame Impala, so when you brought them up, I'm like, oh, I have heard of them because of Kelsey, so I just wanted to.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, they're so good.
Speaker 1:The little six degree of separation? Yeah, sort of.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Sort of yeah, yeah, so I'll check that one out Main guy in the band.
Speaker 2:Well, it's really just one guy, kevin Parker, and he's a genius and it's funny when you know I knew you were going to ask this question. I'm like, what is my favorite song about time? And so I come across this song and I love it. So then I start looking up, like Kevin Parker's meaning of this song and I found an interview of him talking about the song and he started talking about the lyrics and he said that he didn't really even try to write this song about anything. He was like I, it was more of like a stream of consciousness. The words don't really matter, it's just what I said at the time. I was like, okay, cool, I like that, I like that.
Speaker 1:At least he's being honest.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, it was not some poetic, deep, analytical, lyrical thing, he was just being real and I'm like, okay, cool, love it.
Speaker 1:Thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 2:You ready for?
Speaker 1:the next question. Yes, who is crystal?
Speaker 2:who is crystal? Wow, um, who is she? That's? That is a really great, great question. Um, I can tell you a little bit about my life here in LA. I'm a hairstylist. Most of the time, that's what I am doing If I am not being really curious about what life and what death is. I'm always kind of on this journey of exploring people's experiences and beliefs, but I cut hair for a living and I also have a herbal ritualistic shop called Brown Sugar Botanica that I started in 2021.
Speaker 2:About a year after my entire life changed, I saw a medium and she gave me some of the best advice I've ever had, which was to love yourself, because if you're not loving yourself, no one on the other side can get through to you. And that was really important to me because I lost my sister, who was my best friend and the closest to me in my life, and I was desperately trying to connect with her, hence the session with the medium. So the medium told me if you don't love yourself, they're going to have a harder time to connect with you, because they have all of these negative emotions that are, that's like a thicket around you that they have to hack through, and so just that was enough for me to change the way I was living my life, because I was definitely surrounding myself with all of this like self-shame and guilt and can go on forever that I'm sure a lot of people can relate to when they are experiencing bereavement. And so I decided to do all this research, like, okay, how can I what? What are the best ways to love myself and take care of myself? And a lot of that was changing your diet and physical things and stuff like that.
Speaker 2:But there was also this path of energy cleansing and self-love rituals, rituals.
Speaker 2:So I got into herbs and finding out which herbs do what for you and your body, your emotional health and your spiritual health as well, and dove into that and started creating these kits that are meant for self-love rituals or energy cleansing rituals and then smudge sticks and sort of like modern spells, which really all of this comes down to manifestation and just putting the energy out there, thinking about things and getting rid of the things that don't serve you and inviting things that do. It is something you just have to be really consistent with and it's something that we can all do, and so once I made that decision, my life changed for the better and I started receiving signs from my sister. And, yeah, so that's when I started Brown Sugar Botanica, because I thought, if I can just share this with other people who could also be going through this extremely lonely feeling of grief and all of the other things that that comes with, what could that do for people? Maybe it could at least help them kind of make that decision to love themselves too. It is like so easier said than done and it's not something that can just happen overnight, but with the consistency and just reminding yourself that you can do it, you can get there.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, that's how Brown Sugar Botanica was born, and that's a little bit about me, crystal. Yeah.
Speaker 1:So I'm going to start asking a new question right now. This just came to me, so it'll be born today, as we're recording this on February 27th 2023. And I don't think there's any right or wrong answer to this. I think it's whatever just comes to mind for you, what do you believe in?
Speaker 2:What do I believe in? You know, I believe in things that I can see and feel, and I constantly kind of go through this back and forth of like is that real or am I just making things up to feel better? If we're talking about religion, I grew up Catholic and I absolutely did not enjoy my time going to church and going to catechism and all of the things that came with that, like confession. It didn't feel good to me. But my mother it was like her life's mission to bring people to church. My mom passed away when I was five and I really stopped going to church after that. I just didn't love the Catholic mass. It was grueling to me and so after I lost my sister, I was like, well, what is all of this you know, and what are these other religions?
Speaker 2:So I really dove into reading about multiple religions just to kind of understand what people, what everyone believing in. I want to know, because I don't have one sole religion. I feel like there's energy and it is constantly changing form and I want to believe that in between lives there is a place or another. I don't even think it's a place. I just I don't think that our human brains can even comprehend what it is, and so I want to believe in this thing that I can't even comprehend if that answers the question.
Speaker 2:But I don't have one sole religion that I believe in. I and again I struggle with kind of like am I making this thing up or these things up? And I also have kind of come to accept that I don't think I'll ever know the truth about what all of this is and what happens after we die and what to believe in until I die, and that is something that's kind of hard to accept. But it's a really compelling equation when I start to dive into other religions and people's experiences and beliefs. But it just gets difficult because I feel like I'll never know until it's my turn to go there or whatever happens you know. So hope that's a good answer.
Speaker 1:I liked it and I think I'm going to start asking that question now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's complicated.
Speaker 1:Thank you for being the guinea pig there, especially since you didn't know that that one was coming.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I appreciate that, thank you. So why is it that you wanted to have a past life regression?
Speaker 2:You know I mentioned that I lost my sister, who was the closest person to me. She was younger than I was, we were about two years apart and we were so close we had all of the same friends and roommates after we moved out of the house we grew up in in multiple cities and so I went from knowing her her whole life to now she's gone. How do I just, how, how could I just not talk to her anymore? How are you just gone? Where did you go? And so I remember when, when she died, I ran, looked up at the stars and I was just like waiting for a sign, you know, like a shooting star or something, anything weird to happen, to just know like OK, you're still here. And I didn't get that right away. So I remember like immediately going to the computer, like how to connect with the other side, and I just was trying to find whatever I can do to just reach out to her and get a response and just make sure I know that she was okay, because I, just knowing her, I was like there's no way you're cool with this. There's no way you're cool with, like, being dead or dying. There's no way being dead or dying, there's no way.
Speaker 2:So I went through, yeah, a really depressing seven months before I had a session with the medium that I reached out to, which before that I had a session with another one from a book that I read about I'm not even going to say who it is because I don't want to, you know, bash this person but I had a session with this other person and it was not. It didn't resonate with me, and so I was let down by that and I'm just like doing all of these things to try to figure out how to connect with her. And then, in this session with the medium that did resonate with me, she told me a few things like you will find healing through literature was one of the things that did resonate with me. She told me a few things like you will find healing through literature was one of the things that really stuck out to me. And shortly after, a client of mine gifted me this book about past lives called Many Lives, many Masters.
Speaker 2:So I started reading that and I couldn't put it down because it made me feel like, if this is for real, I will see my sister again and I've seen her before. So all of these like medium sessions and reaching out to you and following you on Instagram and reading these books by Brian Weiss and searching other religions. This is all because I really miss my sister and just want to connect with her again. And I have, and we have a very different relationship than what it was when she was alive, but we do have a relationship. It's just very different now. Do have a relationship. It's just very different now, and that is why I wanted to do a past life regression session to see if she was in a past life or to see if there was a way to connect with her again.
Speaker 1:Thank you for sharing. Look, I'm not the arbiter of how anyone should deal with grief. I think that it's specific to the individual. I really think that, sure, some people can make better decisions, but who am I to say what's a good or bad decision? But with all of that said, and me not being the arbiter, I think it's cool the way that you I don't want to say dealt with the grief but maybe transmuted it. Do you think that would be more of an appropriate word.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, you know, before I started kind of finding all of these outlets, because when I started looking online to how to communicate with people on the other side or searched for mediums or grabbed books about intuition and dreams and things like that, I was really like what talked about the depression? That was really. It was so crippling like I couldn't make a decision for myself, you know like, and I was absolutely abusing alcohol and marijuana just to like go to sleep to hopefully have a dream. So it wasn't like this beautiful thing, like it was rough, it was really rough, and you know it was during quarantine, so I was just at home all the time too. And you know, I feel like being open about those things is healing for other people too, because I know I'm not the only one that you know has experienced this. I try to be really open about the bad stuff and the good stuff, because the bad stuff and the good stuff because that's real and you know we're not alone in this and I think that it's really beneficial to be open about this stuff, because grief can feel so, so, so lonely and just like one. You know, snippet of hearing someone talk about their experience in it makes it feel less lonely, but there's so much out there and there's just like a whole world of things that you could explore that just make it feel a little less lonely and a little less painful, because it never goes away, you know, it doesn't.
Speaker 2:Um, I had a mini breakdown today. Just about I was like, like you know, looking at my sister's Facebook page and I was like, damn, I just miss you. So about I was like, like you know, looking at my sister's Facebook page and I was like, damn, I just miss you so much and I was just losing it. And that's just a part of being human. I think we should be worried if we're not doing that and we're not losing it from time to time.
Speaker 2:I think that's just a part of this like physical experience that we get to have on earth. So thanks for recognizing the way that I, you know, chose to kind of explore things. It's been fun kind of like, like I said before, like it feels like this compelling equation whenever I find a book that resonates with me about certain things and I'm'm like, oh, I can't put this down, and it feels like I'm working on something, but then, you know, going back to I'll never know sort of thing, and but in the end it's like it's okay because you're human and this is how it's supposed to be. So yeah, would you feel comfortable sharing her name?
Speaker 1:So yeah.
Speaker 2:Would you feel comfortable sharing her name?
Speaker 1:Yeah, her name is Celeste Hi.
Speaker 2:Celeste. Hey, celeste, she is probably looking at me like this right now, which I know. No one can see this, but she's like what are you doing, crystal? She would roast, roast you, but it's not like you hated her for it. She would be the one that was like constantly picking fun at you, but you never, ever, ever, felt bad about it or annoyed at her for that. Yeah, hey, celeste well.
Speaker 1:Thank you for sharing all that, and to Celeste, because I don't know, but I do believe that she's listening right now. I would prefer it if you were here, because I know how much Crystal cares about you and loves you, but thank you also for being the catalyst for us having this conversation right now. I mean, who's to say that it never would have happened had Celeste not passed away? But that was the sequence of events, so I think it's really cool that she's still having an impact on you in what I believe to be a positive way, even after she's gone to another place.
Speaker 2:Isn't a trip. That's why earlier I said we have a different relationship. Now it's, I feel, like she can. We always had each other's back. Always we were more like twins than like sisters any. We were like allies in our family too. So if anything went down with one of us it was like, oh shit, celeste, like this is going on right now don't tell dad, you know like something like that. So I feel like she still has my back, just like she did when she was here when, uh, everything shut down and we were all working from home, except for me, because you can't do hair at home when there's a virus going around.
Speaker 2:So me and my boyfriend we shared a studio apartment together and it worked for the time where we weren't working at home.
Speaker 2:So after Celeste died I really started diving into trying to find a new apartment because I'm like we got to change something I need to do and it felt really good looking at new places and things like that.
Speaker 2:And I truly believe Celeste hooked me up with my new situation because we went to go tour this one spot and it didn't work out. And then randomly, the landlord to our building reaches out and asks if we want to be the building managers and we're like, okay, what does that mean? And they're like you get discount on rent and you get to move into this bigger unit. And we were like, what Cool, we've been looking for a new place. This is even better than what we thought. I mean, mind you, now we have to do random things around the building and stuff, but it's nothing crazy and it's so worth it. So things like that that. I feel like Celeste is just helping all of us over here me and my other sisters and like her best friends all of us over here, me and my other sisters and like her, um, best friends.
Speaker 1:I just feel like, since she's been gone, all of these amazing things have happened for everyone and I just can't help but to feel like she played a part in that I mean, look, I think that that's really cool and I believe it, and also for all the astrology buffs out there when Crystal had her session, we looked at her transit charts and Celeste passed away, if I remember correctly, within a few days of your Saturn return, the actual hit of your Saturn return.
Speaker 2:Wow, yeah, so my entire life changed then. And yeah, I mean my sister went into the hospital the day before my birthday and then she was in there until the 24th when she passed away.
Speaker 2:So yeah, that's a trip and I feel like, in the grand scheme of things, since then it was like everything just crumbled. It felt like for me like my whole life just changed and it's like this person that you know was such a huge part of me is now gone. But then what's that metaphor where things are the darkest before they start to be light, or whatever?
Speaker 1:I totally said that wrong the night is darkest before the dawn yes, thank you.
Speaker 2:Like that is what that was. It was like a crumble and then from the crumble came just that was like the soil for all of these new flowers and just beautiful vegetation. That is how how I see it. You know, when I look back at all of that and it's really crazy. It's really really crazy because obviously you never think something like that is going to happen. You don't just imagine like, oh well, you know, I think so-and-so is going to die, and you know, obviously you can never just predict something like that. So yeah, it's been a journey and I didn't know that until we just said that. So that makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 1:Oh, I thought we talked about it during your set. Oh wait, was it? Am I? I may be conflating sessions here.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, I'm 30, turning 32. So I would have been. I mean it's wouldn't. It doesn't that make sense?
Speaker 1:Yeah, because it's between 28 and 30.
Speaker 2:Okay, so I was, yeah, turning 29, or I had just turned 29.
Speaker 1:Maybe I'm not conflating sessions. I had just turned 29. Maybe I'm not conflating sessions. Also, around your time. What I noticed as a practitioner is there can be a lot of themes that come up, let's just say in bulk, in sessions with my clients. So around that particular time I was working with a lot of clients who were dealing with death, like the death of a loved one, a very close loved one, with death like the death of a loved one, a very close loved one, whether that be immediate or within a couple of years. So, yeah, so maybe I'm conflating those.
Speaker 2:Well, maybe it's a pattern.
Speaker 1:Or maybe I looked at your transit chart and remember that, because I usually do a snapshot of my mind when we're talking, so it's just like the chart coming to life for me. So it was around the time of your Saturn return.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean cool, crazy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the universe works in mysterious ways. I guess we can leave it at that.
Speaker 2:I am okay with that.
Speaker 1:So what came up for you during your aggression? So what came up for?
Speaker 2:you during your regression. Well, I saw three different lives during this One of them I saw more moments of than the other ones, so I'll kind of touch on the first one that gave a lot of info and to describe what it was didn't. I don't think I said this to you after we recapped after the regression, but, um, I remember feeling like I need to be so short with my answers because my own voice was distracting me from like being present in the memory. So I just wanted to say that because I remember being, you know, you asking questions and then me wanting to say things but not go into detail about anything. So the moment I saw, you know, you had me walk through a door and look down and describe what I saw, and I saw these like cognac, brown, leather, oxford style shoes with like kind of wool socks and plaid-ish trousers. I was definitely a man. I had a like a notepad in my hand and I was in this field with trees off in the background and the only light that was shining was from the stars, and I was like studying the stars, I was drawing them and it felt like I was getting somewhere, like I was doing like working on an equation or something like that.
Speaker 2:And then you had me go to a significant moment in that life and I saw people in lab coats and I was wearing a lab coat and we were celebrating something like every the energy was just like everyone was so stoked about this thing that I had found. I found something that wasn't from earth, but it was this thing that was going to be very beneficial to people that were in pain. So we were celebrating this, this, this thing, this substance, and I don't know what it was called, but I remember feeling like it started with the letter T, and so you asked me a little bit more about that thing and I remember feeling like there was someone who was wanting it. There was this energy around this thing that felt like oh, but oh, no, there's this problem, like this person wants to take it for this other reason that wasn't going to benefit people, that that wasn't going to be used like how we wanted it to be used, which was to benefit the people in pain. It was going to be used for like this selfish reason that was only going to benefit a small group of people that were like in power, like this. Whoever this guy, this this guy was. It was a guy and I remember you asked what's his name and I got George right away. George wanted to use it for like, I think, probably like an elite group of people.
Speaker 2:So that's about as far as we got into that until you had me go to another significant moment, and in this moment I was with a little boy and a little girl, who were my two kids, and we were out celebrating. There was fireworks, it felt like a festival, like a carnival, but it felt like 4th of July, that's like kind of the vibe I got and and you asked why this moment was so significant and I realized that it was the first moment we were happy together, like truly happy together as a family since their mother died. And then I remember flashing and it was just, the scene changed and I was looking at my wife, their, their mom, and she was so sick and she was laying in a hospital bed and there was this sense of hopelessness, like there's nothing we can do. There she was, there was nothing that was going to help her, and she was, she was and I was crying and I truly felt what it felt like to lose the love of my life, like my, my, my partner. It wasn't the same as what it's like to lose a sister, was a different feeling and I was sobbing and that was intense, that that was a really intense moment. So it gets to go. You know, I fast forward to another really intense moment and this is, this is a lot, but this moment kind of like still shakes me and I'm like, am I a bad person?
Speaker 2:But this happened, um, my son drove himself into a river and I didn't stop him and I didn't help him and I watched him go down and I was just frozen, my body wouldn't move, and I just watched the car sink. And it was him and I on a trip out somewhere in a foresty area and we had a dog there. The dog was frantic and trying to save the kid and I just stayed there Like it just felt like and I didn't feel any like. I felt numb, like there was no feeling. It just felt like and I didn't feel any like. I felt numb, like there was no feeling. So that was really crazy. Uh, and then in I stayed there all night and in the morning walked somewhere and wherever there was a pay phone, and I remember picking up the phone and calling the police and then realizing that the police was my brother. So that was a crazy situation.
Speaker 2:I then fast forward to my daughter getting married and it was this feeling of she blamed both of their deaths on me, blamed both of their deaths on me, and it was a very like you know, he's my dad, I'm going to invite him to the wedding, type thing, and so I go, and I wasn't with anyone, I was alone. So it felt like that. But the feeling of seeing her happy was overpowering, the feeling of, like her blaming their deaths on me and me feeling whatever, being alone, like not you know, or whatever anyone might think. Just seeing her happy reminded me of her mom and it was like this beautiful, very like enjoyable feeling, just just seeing her so happy at her wedding.
Speaker 2:And then we fast forwarded to the last day of that life and I was very old and I was in some sort of care center. I was in a bed and I remember my grandson, so her son was there too and he was just I don't know, maybe he was like three or four, but he was just kind of playing with this little truck on the ground and I remember just I don't know, maybe he was like three or four, but he was just kind of playing with this little truck on the ground and I remember you asking me how it felt and I said it feels. It feels good because he's here and I'm okay with this being the last day of my life. Yeah, so that was the the juiciest feel like out of all of those lives. And I remember you asking me you know, what was the lesson you learned from that life?
Speaker 2:And the thing that came to mind instantly was that mistakes are important and necessary and it's okay to mess up and it's okay. Now, that sounds pretty crazy because I totally let my son die, like what that's. And you know what I thought about that? Because I thought I've read some books about karma and my I don't know if this is related, but you know I mentioned earlier that my mom died when I was five. We didn't ask this during the regression, but was that my mom, was my son, my mom, and did I let her die as him? And then now here I am, you know, as Crystal, and she died when I was five. I don't know. I'm just saying that is an interesting kind of like. I thought about that in between our session and now I thought about it a couple weeks ago and I was like is that like car? Is that karma? I'm not sure. I don't know how any of this works, but you know it's interesting to think about.
Speaker 1:So like I mean, it could be yeah but, yeah I okay, I I'm not the arbiter of karma. I don't know how it works I mean it's.
Speaker 2:That's just a little observation.
Speaker 1:I'm like yeah, I, I'm reluctant to see karma's eye for an eye. I mean, I know that that's not quite an eye for an eye, because it would. Yeah, if it was eye for an eye, it would be your son being in the position of being your father or parent and then you, yeah, being the one to so. Also, from what I remember, you weren't in the car at the time, right when you're. When the car went in the river, it was something that your son had done before, like he was a little little kid, but where he would be in the car and, yeah, and started.
Speaker 2:The energy I felt around him was that he had done this before gotten into the car and started driving it. It was that wasn't the first time that he had gotten into the car. I remember it feeling like that and that there was like he was always getting into something, always getting into some wild thing, where it felt like I was always having to be like ah, ah, ah, like stop, wait, constantly like chasing him and so, yeah, that wasn't the first time that he got into the car and drove it himself but it also didn't feel like I want, like I didn't have a feeling of like you deserve this.
Speaker 1:You know that's not what it felt like I just felt frozen and stuck and felt like nothing and I couldn't move, like I was just like in shock I mean, I think that we could even go as far to make assumptions right now of what the reason for that was, because, like, yeah, these, these are just hypotheticals or assumptions like on on that man's side, in a sense, where maybe he was thinking about the daughter at the time, because they had already lost a mother and then there was the potential that she could be fatherless as well if he went in there. Oh yeah, it's possible. So maybe he was something subconscious at that point where he was frozen or I mean it could have been a raging river. So yeah.
Speaker 2:And seeing that go down yeah, I, you know, I didn't feel that way. I really just felt like frozen, that I don't know. Yeah, I just it was like like I couldn't move is what it felt like that was the feeling I got is that, and you weren't.
Speaker 1:It felt like there was incredible despair after the fact too, because I remember you saying that you stayed out there all night. You were just. You were there and you were frozen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I didn't move at all. I remember when the sun came up I went from like I was standing watching it happen, and then in the morning it was like I was sitting, so I hadn't really moved from that spot. It was just me there doing nothing, like nothing. Yeah, really wild and yeah. So the lesson from that life being, you know, I mean that's a huge, huge mistake, but yeah to that, you know that that life the hopefully giving me the benefit of the doubt there is like, yeah, I could have been looking out for the daughter and, you know, making sure that now she's not alone is it okay if I jump in really quick there?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, aside from the eye for an eye maybe, still maybe it's sure it's entirely possible that it could have been because of the lack of action, because I think people are probably listening right now thinking well, what moron would leave keys in the car with a kid who's done this before?
Speaker 1:We don't know what the car was like then. He may not have left the keys in there. It could have been something where the kid just hit the parking brake and it rolled down the hill, because this wasn't yesterday, this was a while ago. So maybe there weren't the same safety features in place, maybe he did have the keys, but there's so many things that could indicate that it wasn't his fault. But what really stuck out to me at that time was that he had a wife who passed away, and thinking about your situation in this life, having your mom pass away, and, if I remember, it felt like the kids were around the same age right, because you said you were five when your mom passed away and that it felt like they were around that age too when the wife passed away.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, I think that. So the memory of us being happy for the first time since she was gone the son was like somewhere in between five and six and the daughter was like eight and nine, and I don't know how much time had gone by in between when my wife died and that moment of happiness with all of us, yeah, so maybe it was years, or maybe it was months, I don't know.
Speaker 1:So what I was feeling at that time was it was about experiencing the death of a mother from a different vantage point, because in this life you experienced it as a child. In that life you experienced it as a husband. Because I mean well, as every day is going on, I'm believing less and less that we experience everything across the spectrum in all of our lives, because I used to believe that we cover the gauntlet on everything before we move on to wherever it is. It's like we'll fill every role, we'll experience everything possible. But maybe that was part of it. It was just experiencing the loss of the matriarch of the family from a different role.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I didn't think about it like that, but that's definitely one way to look at that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's pretty interesting, but I guess only the arbiters of karma really know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right, I will say too. After this regression, I looked at myself in the mirror and for the first time, I felt disconnected from my body, if that makes sense. I looked at myself and I didn't see crystal. It's like a disconnect, not in a bad way at all, I'm not saying like I didn't feel grounded or anything Like no it just yeah, I looked at myself and I didn't.
Speaker 2:It's not like I didn't see me either, I just almost as if there's like two of you and there's you know one part, and then your body part and I saw my like soul, I guess, rather than like this crystal butner physical self in 2023 here on earth. Um, and it was pretty cool.
Speaker 1:I was like whoa so it was like seeing yourself as more than just you, while being you simultaneously yeah, yeah, that's a really great way to put that.
Speaker 2:It's a trip, honestly and refreshing.
Speaker 1:Thank you for sharing that. Anything else come up for you was chaos happening.
Speaker 2:It was like fires and debris falling and people running, and the outfit I was wearing was this like all red, kind of like business suit, with these red pointed heels, and I was alone. But there was a woman that came up to me that I think she had even been hurt, like she was bloody a little bit, and you know, there's smoke everywhere and we're in a street and she is frantic asking me to help her look for her son. And, um, I remember feeling like like I just need to help her, I need to help her look for her son. And that was pretty much it for that memory. But you asked again what you know what lesson came from that? And I remember feeling like it's important to help strangers because we're all the same, we're all, we're all one, even if you, you know, have no idea who they are or have no relationship to them, and it's, you know, going out of your way or whatever it is. I just remember feeling like we're all the same, like help, help, we're all the same.
Speaker 2:That was a short memory but very intense when it was happening because of the environment, and I was I'm I'm not sure why, you know what had happened, why so many buildings were on fire and it felt like this crazy burning city. And then there was another. The last life that I saw was also had some heavy feelings. It seemed like I was ice fishing with my dad and I was a young boy, maybe, like I don't know, somewhere in between the ages of like eight and 10.
Speaker 2:We were somewhere really cold, obviously, and I remember the feeling that my dad gave me. He made me feel like I was an adult, like he treated me with respect and he didn't treat me like a little kid, even though I was a kid. He, he treated me like I was, you know, a grownup, just like him, and I remember how that just felt so good and, um, he had this very like jovial energy about him where everything was just so fun around him. And then, you know, so he's T and he taught me things too, so that was also really great. He was just like a, very like.
Speaker 2:He felt like a you know, I really looked up, really looked up to him. And then we go back to wherever we were staying that night, which wasn't our place. It felt like it was his friend's place, you know cabin of some sort. And then it's the morning and I remember being confused because he felt different. He wasn't happy, fun dad anymore, he was grumpy and short and just different and that was very confusing to me. And then we fast forwarded and I was at his funeral and I'm older, I'm like somewhere between like 14 and 16. And I saw the casket. I saw the people around. I remember wearing you know this, this suit. I didn't I'm not sure like what. The situation with that that mother in that life was, but I don't remember her being around. Situation with that that mother in that life was, but I don't remember her being around.
Speaker 2:And you had me, you had me do something with him, that I, that you also had me do with the wife, that that died in the first memory and that was to repeat to them I love you, I forgive you and I let you go. And I did that. You know you had me put my hand on the casket, on his casket. I remember it was just like so very clean and new and shiny, like it was the weather, like it was so sunny out that day, put my hand on the casket and I said that and I like automatically felt lighter and it helped, it made me feel better. And I then realized he was an alcoholic and that was why he was so different, because when he I'm assuming that he was drinking when we were fishing and so he was kind of, you know, feeling like this fun guy, but then in the morning he was not the same. So, yeah, that's, I think that was it from that one, from that memory.
Speaker 1:So how was the higher self portion for you? What came up?
Speaker 2:You know I I've always had this special connection with music. I taught myself piano when I was a kid. I've played so many instruments growing up. So one of the questions I wanted to ask, and kind of get some more background in, is if I had ever been like a professional musician in a past life. And I got this feeling of yes, but it was a sort of like a secret. It was hush hush because it was during the prohibition era when or at least this is what I think, this is what it felt like that I was singing jazz music in places that people shouldn't have been going to. So that was pretty interesting to me. And then I wanted to know if some people in my current life were in any of my past lives. And this is really interesting.
Speaker 2:My current partner in life he goes by Gordy life, he goes by Gordy. I saw and felt him as the wife from that first memory and it sort of felt like you know if anyone could sort of think of like their best friend or anyone in their life right now. And then they walk through the door and you're like, oh, so-and-so is here and what that feels like to have this person in your life just right next to you, like what their energy feels like. So when I looked into her eyes not the first time when I saw her dying, but when we asked if Gordie had ever been in a past life I saw her as a healthy version and I was like, oh my gosh, and it felt like. It felt like him.
Speaker 2:And to share a little background on like, when him and I first met, we met through a mutual friend and when you meet someone that you're attracted to, maybe sometimes you're like, oh, I need to be, you know, the best version of me so that they can like me. But there was none of that for me, trying to like, compromise, who I was, who I am, to appeal to this person. When I met him, it felt like we already knew each other. It felt like he had been a part of, like, my friend group for so long and I was so comfortable around him. It felt really familiar and so I've always kind of felt like, oh, I bet, like we've been in each other's past lives before you know. And then, to you know, ask that question during that session and to see, like my partner who was in another life that was just sort of really cool and, you know, very mind blowing.
Speaker 2:And I shared that with him later and he was like what, Just thought it was so wild? And I was like yeah, babe, I mean, you know, it felt so familiar when we met.
Speaker 1:And you were so pretty when you were my wife, I know right, I was like what.
Speaker 2:Right, oh so crazy.
Speaker 1:Anything else, come up for you there.
Speaker 2:We also asked if Celeste had been in a past life you know, of course, because that was why I wanted to do the session in the first place.
Speaker 2:And it turned out that she was my father in the last memory. And, oh, I do remember one thing that I didn't share. When I first shared that memory of me being the son and going ice fishing with him, he shared with me to be me. That was his whole message to me Be you, be you, be authentic, be yourself. That was just his whole thing, was just be you. So the same thing, when I saw the wife and I felt Gordy, I saw that dad and I felt Celeste, and then the message of be you really just aligns so much with who she was when she was here.
Speaker 2:If anyone knows Celeste or is listening to this and knew Celeste, they will all agree with this. She never did anything because it was cool. If she was doing it, it was because she was truly down with it. She was so unapologetically herself all of the time and if you ever tried to do something that was not real for you and felt super fake, she'd be like what are you doing? And totally call you out for that.
Speaker 2:So that message, um, and then feeling her when I saw him, I'm just really aligned and you know just, it's really comforting. It's really comforting, um, and kind of again going back to like am I just making all this shit up to feel better. It's like, fine, maybe you are, maybe you are, but also maybe you're not. That could have really been her and if so, what? Like we've known each other in a past life, I'll get to see her again that's so exciting. And hopefully get to see her somewhere in between that's so exciting. And hopefully get to see her somewhere in between and if I don't have amnesia when I go, wherever we go in between and I get to be like dude, are you proud of me?
Speaker 2:I did so much research and I like cracked the code, like is she going to be? Like, yeah, cool, good for you, do you feel cool, or what? Or, like you know, like that would be really great, that would be amazing. But it felt really good to feel her again. And then we also had a moment where it was her and I it, but, but just sort of as like our, our, like our base, like us, like a soul I don't know a spirit, if you will and we were embracing each other and it felt like hanging out with her again. It felt, it honestly felt like giving her a hug and I mean I'm gonna cry, but like not having seen someone in so long, when you're so used to talking with them and everything with them, and then finally getting to hug them again, is just the best, just the best. It's like you know you wish that you can just do it all the time, but that was a really, really, really special moment and just is what made the whole thing so worth it that was a really nice moment.
Speaker 1:I'm glad that she came through and gave you a hug yeah, me too.
Speaker 2:I feel like she's this really like she was a really powerful energy here. She was always so, so true and so real and you know, I don't know if she all the time saw that in herself, but I have a feeling that whatever, however, wherever she is now, she knows that and like her strength is like gone through the roof. It's what that really feels like. I feel like she's like doing work and she is powerful.
Speaker 2:It's, it's crazy just up there flying around yeah, whatever the hell they do, I don't know she had a cool presence to her.
Speaker 1:I do remember that, you know, because I feel that sometimes I can kind of feel it a little bit and how would I put it? I think it was. It was the feeling of, yeah, I could hang out with you, I could see myself giving you my time. That's a good thing for me. I think it was the feeling of, yeah, I can hang out with you, I can see myself giving you my time. That's a good thing for me.
Speaker 2:Sounds like a Celeste thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like you're cool. Yeah, I could be on board.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:So yeah, and again I just want to thank Celeste for having an impact on more than one life now, Because I mean, we'll let you think it's a given that she's impacted you, but even those moments there's an impact for me as well. So, like it probably goes beyond just the two of us too. She's probably still out there, you know, doing her Celeste thing and impacting more lives. So I want to thank her for having an impact on my life as well.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's precious. Well, thanks for thanking her, and I'm I'm sure she's probably saying something like so sassy about it.
Speaker 1:Is what that's it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:He didn't give me a cake.
Speaker 2:Something like that.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you so much for sharing all that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean it's been so cool chatting with you and like doing this whole thing with you. I mean, like I had followed you on Instagram months before I reached out just to, like you know, kind of catch a vibe and see what you were doing and see if it felt good for me, and like I just really appreciate your lightheartedness in all of this and the fact that you're not like someone that is claiming to know it all. Um, that is really refreshing and also makes someone who's so curious about all of this feel really comfortable. And, yeah, I just appreciate all of all of the chats we've had. I appreciate you.
Speaker 1:Thank you, and that means a lot to me. It's nice to be seen and understood. So, thank you, thank you for that and hey, it goes both ways. It's been cool getting to know you too, and I just I can't thank you, celeste. Thank you for putting Crystal and I in contact. I can't wait to see where this journey takes you, because I feel that you have that grounded nature to you too, where it's, yeah, could be, it's cool to think about, could be.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I could be crazy, but could be but it's like crazy, but you know what I mean like, but yeah, it's sort of that like yin and yang, like we need this or we won't have that.
Speaker 2:It's like how can you have a shadow if there's no light, you know, and that little bit of doubt I feel like is good in all of this, yeah.
Speaker 1:And I think still that kind of even goes hand in hand with after celeste passed away and you had mentioned that you, you were drinking a lot and smoking like that was your coping mechanism. Like, is it the best thing in the world? Probably not, but it it may have also been necessary for you, you know, just still for that yin and yang, to kind of have to sit with it and then find yourself in a place where you could say I'm ready to move on from that, I'm ready to to open myself up more. So I don't see it as a bad thing and I think it's okay.
Speaker 1:It was all part of the process for you yeah, yeah, totally.
Speaker 2:And you know not to be like, hey, everyone, let's all get fucked up, you know, but if it changes your perspective on things, it's like if you experience that and then you kind of changed and transformed from that, it makes the new way more valuable and have more depth.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I agree, I think grief is really tailored to the individual also Because, you know, as I mentioned, it kind of comes in groups with the types of people that I work with, and some people that I've worked with have found themselves jumping in very soon after the types of people that I work with, and some people that I've worked with have found themselves jumping in very soon after the passing of someone, and then some it takes years. But I still, I think that everyone's journey is their own and I guess I'm speaking more to everyone else right now because not to you specifically. There's no need to compare yourself to anyone else. If it happens a certain way for you, that's how it happens. But as long as you find yourself in a place at some point where you're able to not necessarily I don't want to say forget, but let go of the stagnation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and really, you know, just yeah, just like what you said, it's like everyone has a different way of going through that and I mean it's not even through because you never get to the other side of group. There's no end of it, but everyone, everyone has a different way that they do that. And yeah, like what you said, it's there's no right or wrong way and it's always changing all of the time. You might be, you know, able to talk about one thing that has to do with that person or an experience, and be able to speak it perfectly and explain it perfectly without, you know, getting choked up.
Speaker 2:And then there's other times where it's like you absolutely can't even get the word out and all of the ways are okay and I think, at the very bottom line, it's like got to come down to you just loving yourself, because if you don't give yourself that that sort of cushion, I feel like we make it harder for ourselves. It's already the hardest thing. So if you're just easy with yourself and love yourself, as an obviously easier said than done, you know we are all have these things that we don't like about ourselves or things that we do, and whatever and whatever the situation is, I I think that that can that can help a lot. That can help kind of like ease, ease the pain a lot I'll toast to that.
Speaker 1:So where can everyone reach you?
Speaker 2:you all can reach me on instagram. My personal is just crystal with a K and instead of an A it's a V. So K R Y S T V? L, find me on there If anyone ever wants to. You know, talk about um losing a loved one, or just you just want to share your experience, or I also love to talk about signs that we've gotten from loved ones. That's always really fun. So, yeah, reach out to me about anything or nothing at all crystal on instagram, and then you guys can also find me on my website, brownsugarbotanicacom. If you feel like purchasing something from there, I created a special promo for you all. Just type in the word timeless when you check out and you'll get a complimentary mini bouquet that I intuitively curated just for you. Yeah, instagram for Brown Sugar Botanica as well.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for coming on today and for sharing your story, and for Celeste too.
Speaker 2:Thank you and thanks for including her in all of this. It just makes me so happy.
Speaker 1:It's my pleasure. And then I'm just going to finish by saying yay, yay, yay.